Sometimes, it hurts to remember
by barcode-babe-210
Summary: I had to leave. It was either risk it alone or go down together, and we needed to get out. To let the world know that we're here. but now i'm alone, and that hurts more than anything. (not as angsty as it sounds!) MA, newBen (R and R please!)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mai Tiki, Hawaii, 2022

A lone girl walks down a deserted beach that's littered with old bottles and pieces of tires from long ago. A lone tear trickles down her face as she looks into the starry sky, praying for a sign that she's not alone.

She takes the eleven flowers in her hand and drops them, one by one, into the ocean, a silent memorial to those lost to her forever. She sits on a rock, not bothering to wipe away the tears, clutching her hands around her knees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`Mandy

it's hard to imagine what your life would be like without certain people in it. What would happen if those most important to you would just up and leave? Take it from someone with experience on the subject- no matter how tough it is to imagine that, it is 5 million times harder if it actually happens. When it actually happens.

We were supposed to stay together, me and Ben. But they were trailing us, so we had to split up. He gave me a quick hug and kiss in our hiding place in the cave, and whispered goodbye. We had a plan to meet at San Francisco; we had gone there once on a group mission, and that was our meeting place. I don't know if the others made it or not, but either way, I didn't make it. After we fled, I didn't see another of my kind for...well, ever.

I don't really remember worrying about me, although I'm sure that Zack worried enough for all of us. He always took care of me, because I was the youngest. And then there was Ben. We were so close...he was my best friend, my confidante. And then, in an instant, he disappeared.

To be a child and alone in the world is the scariest feeling there is. I was seven when we ran away from "Home Sweet Hell", and I had no idea what the outside world was like. I found my way to San Francisco and stayed there for about a month. But then I saw a military-issue van rolling down the street one night and knew I'd overstayed my welcome. So I hopped on a boat that was in the pier, not knowing where I was headed and sure as hell not caring.

Turns out that it was an old Hawaiian fisherman. He took pity on me and let me stay with him and his wife. Robbie (the fisherman) was like my father, and Lilo, his wife, like my mother. They treated me like the daughter that they never had, and loved me to death. Then Lilo died of a heart attack, and Robbie decided to move in with some family on the mainland. 

He left me the house, though, and the surf shop. So that's what I do here- I know, I know, a genetically empowered girl selling surf boards for a living? Yeah, but weirder things have happened-just look at that pre-Pulse bubble-gum pop and boy bands phenomena.. *shudders*. 

I have a life here, and I'm relatively happy with it. Really, I like it-ok, so not that big of a challenge, but I need to keep a low profile. I just wish that they were here, or to at least know that they're all right. At least now I can make up lives for them, like maybe Max is a world-famous model, and Jondy is in a rock band. I just hope that they're out there, and that they're all right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

She stands up, moving back toward the sea. It draws her closer, like a giant magnet, or a moth to one of those lantern-thingies. She takes off her hot pink sarong and drops it onto the ground, leaving her clad in only a black bikini. Plain, but still beautiful. She jumps in the cool water, basking in the touch of it against her skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mandy's PoV

But, as someone wise once said, "Let all the hurt roll off of you like water..."

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A/N: hey everybody!! Musical's over now- *sniff sniff* and as sad as that is, I get to write more!!!! woohooo!!!!! 

Guess who the quote was by: hint, it was in the first season of DA!!!!

Thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed my stories- you guys keep me going

DISCLAIMER: I do not own DA, as much as I can wish.

PLEASE REVIEW ME AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!

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